One Life To Live - MESSAGE BOARDS

Welcome once again to Only in Mendorra, brought to you by the Bitterman Bakery...
(jingle)
When your Princess doesn't cuddle up like she should,
Eat some Cake and it's all good!
(/jingle)
Bitterman's Bakery, by royal appointment to sexually frustrated monarchs for over a century.

In today's Mendorran news: Princess Talia proves herself to be quite a fighter, as she subdued her evil daddy simply by smashing a vase (from IKEA of Mendorra) into his right shoulder blade! Or is Herr Hesser simply in such fragile shape that such a glancing blow would knock him out?

Later, the Princess and her entourage were seen hiring a rental from Inflatable Rafts of Mendorra. After placing two large parcels into the raft and sending it off, the Princess was heard to say that this was the only way to take care of her dirty laundry.

We applaud the Princess for adapting so readily to our Mendorran custom of doing laundry by sending it over the falls. It's refreshing to see royalty keeping with the old ways, and not using the Realian's Laund-ro-mat like so many of our younger generation.

This glimpse into kingdom life has been brought to you by IKEA of Mendorra. Now in progress, Vase Sale 2008! The same classic vase available in the USA IKEAs for $5 is now yours in Mendorra for the low low price of 2 million Euros ($2.9 million USD)! That's right, the inherent inability of all Mendorran inhabitants to do math means really incredible prices for you! Really incredible prices!

HAHAHAHA, lmao!

I've not been to mendorra for awhile, been ff'g!

Thanks - I appreciate your humor

Welcome back to Only in Mendorra, brought to you today by the Realian Party...
(jingle)
Where getting real is job one!
(/jingle)
The Realian Party, attempting to inject reality in Mendorra for over a century.

In today's Mendorran news: Princess Talia lifts the press ban and allows newfangled outsiders in the castle! Is there something wrong with our own Mendorran press? Will this come back to bite her on the butt? Will other butts be bitten? On purpose?

We urge all loyal Mendorrans to continue fearing newfangled outsiders. Just hum our national anthem, "Weg weg, es gibt nichts hier zu sehen" if approached.

Let's sing it now!

"Weg weg,
es gibt nichts hier zu sehen.
Gehen Sie sollten nicht hier sein weg!
Dieses betrifft Sie nicht...
Es gibt Skelette im Wandschrank
dass Sie nicht sehen sollten,
nehmen Sie eine Wanderung Fremden,
Mendorra lieben wir Sie!"

Ah. We feel the wave of loyal silence from here. Remember the words of Herr Hesser -- keep your mouth shut, and nothing will happen to your family.

This moment of patriotism has been brought to you by The Realian Party of Mendorra. Coming next month, Mendorra Carnivale 2008! The recent scandal in the palace can be a new source of income to our citizens, so when the Rosie O'Donnell cruise arrives, welcome the tourists with open arms and they will open their wallets! Dance, sing and be gay with our new rainbow friends. Remember, if it's good enough for Prince Jonas, it's good enough for you!

The Realian Party of Mendorra would also like you to have this translation of the Mendorran National Anthem, so you know what you've been singing all these years:

"move along,
there's nothing to see here
go away, you should not be here!
this does not concern you...
there are skeletons in the closet
that you should not see,
so take a hike stranger,
Mendorra we love you!"

Thank you for your humor - I don't know what you do for a living, but it should be in comedy.

Thank you!