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Women!

Alice is serving "Mr. Luke" his breakfast and flirting shamelessly. Tracy demands her bloody Mary, and Luke quickly goes from flirting with Alice to flirting with his wife. Just then Logan comes in and demands to know where Luke is keeping Lulu. Luke says that it looks like his daughter has finally wised up and is steering clear of him. Logan says that he and Lulu left things on good terms, so something must be wrong. "When is the last time that any of you laid eyes on her?" Logan insists.

Woe is Logan.

Scott swoops into the Q parlor and plops down in Alan's chair. Tracy screams, but it turns out that Alan isn't there yet. (After Scott stands up and orders black coffee from Alice, Alan appears.) Edward wants to talk about his step-granddaughter (Lulu) and his obligation to protect her from her "worst impulses" -- such as shacking up with Logan. They want Scott to use his position as special prosecutor to have her arrested for something. He won't hear of it, mainly because Lulu is of age. Alice says that Mr. Luke would be really mad at Scott if he had his daughter arrested and Scott suddenly reconsiders.

Nikolas and Emily go to the Q parlor to report that Lulu has disappeared after learning that Logan slept with Maxi on a bet. "Why wait for DNA results, this proves that he's your son," Monica quips to Scott. After Emily and Nik leave, the Q's worry about what's happened to Lulu. Tracy says that it would be nice if "someone" would fly around and take a little "looksie". Alan tells her that's not the way it works in his world. Alice wonders if Lulu went looking for her father and Tracy says that no one knows where he is.

Kate's Caught.

At the Q mansion, Edward, Monica and Scott are telling Lulu why she shouldn't see Logan. Logan calls Scott "pops" and Alan says that Logan has Scott's same smirky facial expression. As Lulu and Logan stand up to leave, Lulu says that she'll just move it with Logan if they won't let her see him. Edward tells Alice to chain her to a chair. Tracy urges Lulu to stay because if Luke finds out that she let her move in with Logan, he'll divorce her. Edward suddenly has a change of heart. He puts Lulu's hand in Logan's and says, "Here ya go dear, take the monkey and run." Scott tells Lulu that she has other options, like Bobbie's brownstone, for example. Logan says that Lulu doesn't need any of them because she has him. They walk out the door and Tracy is furious.

Quality Time with the Q's.

At the Q mansion, Tracy bellows for Alice. Alice comes rushing into the parlor thinking that Tracy is having a mental relapse and offers to call Shady Brooke. Tracy simply wants her to arrange for a quickie DNA test for Scott and Logan. Monica and Edward come into the room and Edward tells Lulu and Logan to scoot apart from each other on the sofa. Monica is looking for her medical journal and no matter how many times Alan tells her that it's in the third drawer, she doesn't seem to have a clue. For some reason they start to talk about all of the interlopers who have finagled their way into the Q family and -- among other things -- Lulu learns that Jason is really Susan Moore's son and Skye was originally thought to be the product of one of Alan's infidelities. Monica wistfully says that if Skye hadn't shown up, Alan would still be here. Alan sadly tells Tracy what to say to Monica, "Tell her not to think that way -- it doesn't help." Tracy obliges and Monica seems touched by her sister-in-law's uncharacteristic tenderness.

After the DNA test, Tracy, Scott, Lulu and Logan go back to the Q house. Edward says that neither of the men are welcome here. Scott reminds him that he's the only reason that Tracy isn't still playing checkers at Shady Brook. Alan asks Tracy if she's planning on keeping Scott around forever. Tracy gets frustrated and tells Alan to stop it. They all comment that she's talking to the chair again. Monica says that she wishes she could see Alan and Alan tells her that he does to. Then Alice suggests that they should put Shady Brook on speed dial.

First it's Leticia, now it's relationships.

At the Q mansion, Alice is pouring coffee while Monica urges Edward to bring Tracy back from Shady Brook. She says that ELQ is suffering corporate losses and they need her back. Alice (who has a great new haircut!) tells him to grovel if that's what it takes to get her to come back and help.

Tracy arrives back at the Q mansion and everyone admits that they missed her. She says that things are going to change around here, starting with Lulu's social life. Scott says that the lizard Logan is a manipulator, and he works for a criminal. Lulu tells him that he is Logan's father and Scott doesn't want to hear that again. Logan arrives and asks Lulu to lunch and she says, "Absolutely." Scott and he yell at each other about whether or not they are father and son and finally Logan agrees to take a DNA test to prove to Lulu that he's not lying.

Is Patrick going to be a Daddy?

Lulu is attempting to leave the Q mansion, but is stopped by Edward and Monica. They remind her that they are her guardians at the moment, and Lulu assures them that nothing is going on. Just then Logan arrives and Edward jumps down his throat. Logan says that he's not happy to be Scott Baldwin's son, but at least coming to Port Charles has lead him to Lulu. Monica jumps in and says that in addition to having a questionable father, working for Sonny Corinthos is bad news. She says her son, Jason, has gone down the same dangerous path. She turns to Lulu and says that the women in Sonny's life are always in danger, too. Logan tells the Q's that even if he quite his job tomorrow, they still wouldn't let him date Lulu. Edward orders Alice to remove Logan. She holds him by the shoulders, but he shakes her off. Lulu tells Monica that she is going to see Logan no matter what they say.

Skye Takes The Stand

Lulu surprises Edward and Monica at breakfast. She asks about phone calls but no one has taken any calls for her. Alice brings a package to Monica and offers Lulu some eggs. Edward insists she take a few bites, uncovers the plate. Inside in a muffin with a candle on top! They wish her a happy birthday, explaining they were planning a party but had to cancel it. They decided to cancel, Monica explains, because of the stress Lucky's been under. Lulu shrugs it off, thanking them for remembering her anyway. She takes the muffin and Edward reminds her to make a wish. She doesn't want to. Edward begins talking in circles; Monica tells him to just say it: they want to know if Jake is Jason's son! Uncomfortable, Lulu dances around the issue. She reminds them that Liz swore under oath that Jack was Lucky's. Lulu leaves.