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Like Trying to Stop a Trainwreck!

EJ arrives home and Sami tells him he missed putting the twins to bed - not that he cares! "How was Nicole," she asks and EJ plays into it. "She was wonderful." He tells her nothing happened and he has no reason to lie to her. She reminds him he hasn't exactly been forthcoming before. She asks why he's trying to get Lucas out of jail. He claims he only wants her happiness. She counters, "I wish you were thinking that the night John was conceived." Dead silence, then EJ asks if that is why she's so angry, because of the way Johnny was conceived. Sami says though she loves her son, she can't look at him without remembering that night he was conceived.

Water, Whiskey, Rubbing Alcohol... Something!

Back at the DiMera mansion, Sami thanks Rolf for helping her put the twins down. A discombobulated Rolf is shocked that she does this every night. He asks for a drink and they discuss how rocking babies isn't part of his job! They drink to the little ones sleeping through the night and Sami tells Rolf she thinks she has misjudged him. She wonders how he did Stefano's bidding without emotion but Rolf admits it helped him to leave his emotions out of his work when he was with Stefano. He tells her that he has a way with children because of the time he spent with the Gemini Twins (Rex and Cassie). She asks what his opinion is about EJ and Rolf thinks EJ is finally becoming his own person but isn't sure if it's a good or a bad thing and asks what her thoughts are on EJ. Sami thinks EJ's trying to be a better person, but he's trying her patience! Since Rolf sees all, she asks his opinion on the relationship between John and Marlena. Rolf doesn't think they'll get back together the way that John is now and says they've as much of a chance as Sami falling in love with EJ! EJ walks in and startles Sami, who immediately dashes off to bed.

Maybe she found your Stash of Vodka?

John gets angry when he realizes the disc they took from the safe is missing. He assumes it was stolen. Sami and Marlena wonder why nothing else was taken and Marlena turns to Rolf for answers. Rolf claims he didn't take it and Sami and Marlena are surprised when John dismisses Rolf to get him a snack. John thinks it could be EJ, since he's Stefano's son. Rolf shows up with John's food and Marlena tells John he should trust her, though she finds it hard to trust him. In turn, he tells her she's now his main suspect. Marlena is angered by his admission and he tells her he knows she has strong feelings about him that they can discuss later. Sami tells Marlena she's dropping the twins off at Maggie's so she can run errands. Marlena wants to go, but Sami thinks she's avoiding John. Marlena realizes she is and decides to stay and help John find the disc. John tells Rolf to leave the room and calls the security company and barks out orders for them to come and install an alarm. Marlena thinks John was harsh on the man but he disagrees. The work ethic has gone downhill he says and he plans on hiring a private investigator to help. Marlena says he used to do that sort of thing himself and thinks this could be a link to the old John. After all, he's Stefano's secret project. John, who was pouring a drink, slams down the bottle and demands that she never call him that again. Marlena apologizes, but that upsets John more. He doesn't want her to treat him like some mixed up patient.

At the mansion, John makes a list of items missing from the house and when Rolf asks John what he would have done if he caught the perp, John says, "I'd have put a bullet in their head." John offers Rolf a Cuban cigar, and this causes Rolf to reassure John that he didn't have anything to do with the disc being stolen. John knows. He figures Rolf would have replaced the disc with a phony!

Difference Between a Crock Pot and a Flower Pot.

At the DiMera mansion, John tells Marlena he's expanding his business practice. She suggests he expand to Italy, as they married there. "Done!" he says, happily. EJ and Sami arrive at the same time Rolf arrives with a tray of tea. When John calls Marlena "Doc", Sami wrongly assumes the old John has returned, and Rolf drops his tray with a huge crash! Rolf apologizes for dropping the tray and though EJ says it's an heirloom, John could care less. He looks around and says he'd like to get rid of a lot of things "in this mausoleum," starting with the portrait of Stefano! He asks Rolf to do it but Rolf hesitates and flashes back to retrieving the disc from behind the portrait. He feels as though he'd be betraying Stefano by removing the portrait, but John reminds him that he's his boss now, not Stefano. John decides to do it himself. He finds the safe behind the portrait and demands Rolf open it. When Rolf lies that he doesn't know the combination, John finds Marlena's stethoscope and opens the safe! He finds real estate documents and the disc that contains his memories and while Rolf looks concerned, John says, "What do we have here?" He tells Marlena he'll examine the disc later, in private and then asks what the kids (EJ and Sami) want, now. He jokes that they're living there under his roof and have eaten all of his corn chips! Sami asks them to come with them to EJ's immigration hearing and lie for them. John excuses Rolf and says he's in. He hopes this means they can move out soon! Marlena doesn't like to lie but Sami says just to tell some of the good things that they do for each other. Sami says EJ washed her car a few days ago and EJ says Sami spoils him. Marlena agrees to help, though she has patients this afternoon. John's looking forward to it and tells Sami and EJ that it could score him points with Blondie! John sits smirking on the sofa and when everyone has left the room, he stares at Stefano's portrait, then leaves. Rolf returns and shakes his head. He knows he's in big trouble if John discovers what's on the disc!

I've Thrown out all the Trash!

Back at the DiMera mansion, Marlena reminds John they're still married and married people do not date others. John likes that she's jealous and calls it very sexy but Marlena denies being jealous. "I'm upset," she says. She wants him to act like her husband and he retorts that he will, if she treats him like his wife and comes to his bed! Once the doorbell rings, he tells her that the dinner is strictly business. "I was toying with you," he says! Marlena is happy to hear it's business and wants to dine with them but he refuses. Nicole arrives dressed to seduce and Marlena leaves. Nicole wants to discuss Marlena but John would rather talk about them and how good they could be together. Just as he says this, Marlena overhears and finds Rolf and tells him to help her get the old John back. He denies knowing how to.

Back inside the room, John asks Nicole to fly to Napa with him to sample wine, Saturday. He says they'll fly off to Paris for a week after. Nicole thinks it sounds wonderful but asks if it will interfere with business. She brings up that she knows he and Victor are engaged in a war over the docks. John stiffens and tells her, "Took you long enough. You came here to spy on me." He tells her, "You didn't honestly think this tasteless dress would turn my head." He wants to know who she's working for, Victor or little Philip! Nicole calls him paranoid but he knows it was Philip. Victor doesn't trust her. Nicole gets up to leave and Marlena waltzes in. Nicole says she's sorry for Marlena's loss. John tells Nicole she was a terrible spy and she storms out. John and Marlena are impressed with the way each other handled Nicole and John thinks Marlena's starting to accept him. He tells her Philip made a mistake infiltrating his organization. He's putting an end to this.

I'd Sooner Choke on a Schnitzel!

At the DiMera mansion, Rolf continues to study his American accent while John watches, smiling. Rolf tells John the book is causing him brain damage. He rants at John to stop the madness but John refuses. He holds the jail card over Rolf's head and says he wants a valet, just like Victor Kiriakis's valet, Henderson, who does everything for him! Talk turns to Kiriakis Shipping and John won't rest until he has one upped them. As the doorbell rings, Rolf complains that once upon a time, he was a brilliant scientist and now he's answering doors. Marlena arrives and is surprised when Rolf says he must announce her! Marlena tells John she had a call and she trails off, when Rolf doesn’t leave the room. John tells him to leave and once he's gone, John says he's returning the torture and it's kind of fun, he tells a surprised Marlena. "Revenge is sweet." Marlena says Sami called to invite her here and John jokes he has killed people for less! Marlena's not impressed with his wit. Sami and EJ arrive. EJ says they're in a bit of a fix and Sami says they're the only ones who can help. Again, Marlena tells Rolf to leave and John gives Rolf his book on American accents. Rolf spits out, "I'd rather wait until the movie came out," before he leaves. Sami tells them the immigration officer wants to deport EJ and John asks, "And the promise is?" EJ says, he'd have to move! Sami says the twins need a father. John disagrees. He grew up without a mother and he's fine. Sami and EJ are both having issues paying rent and though EJ has a job; it'll be a while before they have money. John finds his check book and offers money but Sami says it's more complicated. Immigration wants proof of a real marriage and wants them to spend time with their family. EJ and Sami suggest they be able to live with Marlena but she balks at this. "It's not big enough", she explains. She thinks she could get a bigger place that is more comfortable for them and then looks to John. "I've changed my mind," she says and tells them she's too busy for that and the real estate market is up in the air. She thinks they could move into the DiMera mansion! Sami and EJ decline a few times over while John looks up, aghast, but Marlena talks them into it. She thinks the children "could help John regain his lost humanity!" Meanwhile, Rolf annoys them with constant interruptions of food and drinks offerings. Marlena agrees that this is going to be weird but John was traumatized by Stefano. He's not hostile anymore and even she has done unconventional things lately. Sami asks her to move in with them, much to Marlena's shock, and says John is not her husband but she may have a point! If John agrees, Marlena will do it.

Sailor man, Smooth Sailing!

At the mansion, John finds Rolf with headphones on, trying to rid himself of his accent as per John's request. He recites 'She sell sea shells by the sea shore' with difficulty. He says to John that this is impossible but John points out if he can bring people back from the dead, he should be able to change his accent! John makes a call to Paul Hollingsworth and says he hopes his charitable donation worked for him. Paul has found John very generous. John comments that there may be some weight and manifest discrepancies in the Kiriakis shipment so Paul agrees to check on this.

Belle, Shawn and Claire arrive at the mansion. Rolf lets them in and Belle tells John they're leaving town. John coldly says they didn't have to come all the way down here. They could have called! Belle rolls her eyes and says they're leaving for good. John offers to buy them a boat and when he goes off for juice and champagne with Claire, Belle talks Shawn into allowing John to buy the boat. She thinks he's doing it out of love. Shawn agrees, maybe she is right. Belle wants to get out of there. John returns and Belle is surprised to see Claire with a juice box. John says he knew how much she liked juice so he had the cook buy some. They refuse the champagne and say they'll accept the boat and name it Fancy Face 4! "Glad to do it, dink…" he says. "It's Tink," she corrects and he asks them to treat him like family and use him for as much as they like. Belle starts to cry and hugs John goodbye. "Have fun," he says, uncomfortably. John says goodbye to Claire and tells her he'll miss her. She's the only one in the whole town who really got him. He starts to cry and whispers, "I think there's something in my eye." He tells them not to forget to send a postcard and they leave.

Back at John's mansion, Rolf opens the door to an angry Philip who storms inside and yells at John. "I know what you're up to at the docks." John feigns innocence and Philip knows he spoke with Hollingsworth and wanted to break up the shipping department in their company. John admits he is and asks how he's doing so far. Philip says John's playing dirty and they had a deal with Stefano. John thinks Stefano will honor it when he returns but until then, he'll deal with him! The doorbell rings and John says, "Did you call the feds?" He sees Marlena. "Worse. My conscience!" Marlena can't believe that John's resorted to bribery but John denies this. Marlena finds him a disappointment and stalks off with Philip in pursuit. John notices Marlena has left gloves behind. He asks Rolf if he thinks he was rough on 'Blondie'. Rolf knows Marlena could tell he was lying. John asks him to send the gloves back to 'Blondie' with a dozen roses and asks that Rolf make sure Paul isn't using he and Victor against each other.