Soaps.com - MESSAGE BOARDS

I post on the Y@R thread, but thought I'd post this in the lounge. I'm going through clinical depression and have lost my desires through women that have I've dated, that have used me for atm machine. I've come to the relization to be busy in my work and everyday endeavors, rather than dating at all. There are users and abusers out there and I've come to the relization things aren't changing over night.

I'm just curious if there any other people out there that can relate?

You sound just like a good friend of mine. He moved half way across the country for this girl, and he cleaned out his bank account only to come bact 2 months later empty handed and broke.

It's sad, I'm sorry that you've ran into some terrible women.

Maybe you should try a dating site, like Match.com, or something like that. I would imagine that the females there are looking for a serious parter.

Men have never used me, but I've gone through being depressed that I was dating the wrong men for me. I think you're smart and proactive to focus on other things right now, if you're feeling that you're not finding the right girl for you.

I believe that taking time off from dating does everyone a world of good. I did it for months myself before finding the right man for me. He just snuck up on me! There are many wonderful ladies who I'm sure are right for you, George. I've seen your posts over on Y&R and have always been happy that you are a member. Your posts are terrific. You're a great guy - funny and intelligent.

It'll happen for ya when you're feeling more yourself. I don't want to get too personal here, but just wanted to say that seeing a therapist can help.

I hope you hang in there!! NGray1 is right. Dating sites can be terrific, I am told. I've got friends who have met the right girl or guy on them.

xo

From what I've heard the people that go on those sites, the good ones, are really serious and are not about playing games. I've only heard great things. Also, Dr. Phil works with the creators of Match.com, and he knows best!!!

Here's something else I received this moring.

You Are Worthy


You are worthy of the best in life. It's not because anyone tells you so or gives you permission to be, but because you know deep down that you are.
You have every reason to feel great about the good and valuable things you have done. You have the ability to expand on that goodness, on that value, on your own special gifts.

Where you are is a very good place to be. For you are in a position to truly make a difference by expressing and fulfilling your most deeply held values and dreams.

Certainly things are not perfect, and your world is filled with difficult challenges. Yet there is real treasure hidden within those challenges, for you have what it takes to move successfully through them.

You know how great it feels to accomplish something positive and meaningful. Listen to that feeling, for it connects you to your purpose and your ability to do great things.

Whatever you can imagine, you are worthy of reaching. Choose to make everything in your life worthy of the unique and valuable person you are.

Hi George,
I have used Match.com and find that some of the men on that site are very perverted. Some were nice but I have to say that the majority were not. I have heard that some woman on the site are that way as well. Money hungry and want a man with lots of money. I say you should just stay by yourself for right now and think about what you want from a woman and a relationship, this will help you in your next relationship. Good luck to you and think about prayer, it really helps...

Hi George,

I suffer from depression on a regular daily bases. I hate going and talking to my dr. due to the fact he only takes 15 mins to talk to me and then ups my meds. You are right what you can tell a dr, you can tell your friends and its cheaper.

Before I got married, I used to be on date lines and let me say I was on a few. I was looking for Mr. Right but all I found was guys wanting one night stands or just friends with a play partner. Believe it or not I found my husband through a friend of mine.

It is very hard to find true love and to find someone who will not use or abuse you. This I know frist hand. The best advice I could give you is to pray about it, if you believe in God. Also I know when I am not looking for something around the house normally I find it. Point maybe if you took sometime off you might find it. You never know.

Good luck and God Bless.

Msbearr

P.S.

I used the date site plentyoffish.com and I met a few good friends on there it is free to email back and forth and to set up an account. This is a good site to meet people to chat with on line or to date.

I have to say I'm always amazed at how sweet everyone is to offer advice on here.

Many years ago, I was clinically depressed. I stayed in bed for about a year. My husband finally thought that I should see our Doctor. I was put on antidepressants. They helped me to get out of bed, but I had no emotions. I felt dead. Finally, something rose up in me, I decided to get a job helping others....it turned things around quickly for me.

Now, about dating George, it surely can be a jungle out there and sometimes being alone, is far better. A partner, isn't always what its cracked up to be. I myself, am now ending an 11 year relationship. I look forward to living alone, from past experience, I know that it can be FUN

George - I don't mean to be preachy, but depression as a disease has one of the highest fatality rates. There are several different kinds of depression and I would advise being diagnosed before you decide on any further action.

Cognitive therapy can help a lot (whether you are depressed or not) by teaching you how to pay attention to how you are feeling; why you are feeling this way and how to deal with your unhealthy attachments to people and any other problems in your life as they happen. It doesn't happen overnight but the value can be tremendous (at least it has been for me).

I have had major depression since I was a child and when I was finally diagnosed at age 34 and put on a medication, I found a whole realistic world and couldn't believe what I was NOT feeling - overwhelmingly sad and tires. By this time, I had been treated for drug AND alcohol addiction and had developed some really bad ways of dealing with relationships and my feelings.

I can only hope that you have a positive outcome, no matter what is actually wrong. The most important thing in your life needs to be YOU and getting healthy so you can become the wonderful person that you can be and that every decent woman wants a relationship with.