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Good Morning,

I'm curious when you start dating someone new is it better to approach it with caution of throw caution to the wind. I was talking to a girlfriend about this and she started dating someone new who she is really attracted to. She says she wants something of substience with this guy, but she wants to give it up a bit to quick. i told her that I think it's probably better to hold on a bit to give the relationship a chance to develop and for them to get to know one another. But she says men lose interest if we don't threw them some kind of clue. I told her that if she does that to keep him, she has to be prepared that he may dump her. I think that if a women wants a man for something more serious she should take a slower approach, but if it's i don't care, I just think your yummy go for it. I also read this book recently that is titled "Why men marry bitches". It is actually a good read, and it brings up some good points. Do my fellow debaters agree or disagree, with my opinion.

Interesting finding this thread. I have a friend who relocated to another City in July, due to work. A month later she met a guy. At first she played it cool – texting, and talking on the phone. Next thing she’s telling me: “oh, he’s got it going on, I can really see this going somewhere.” I’m like hold up; you did da horizontal mumbo with brotha man? I am neither the author of confusion nor am I a cloud, so I am like: whatevah works ya Sistahgurl! Here it is October, and he hasn’t called her in weeks. Not three full months and brotha man has hit it and quit it! Now, how you gonna meet some man, and in the space of a month turn ‘me into we!’ But hey, sistahgurl, is still hopeful he’ll drop a dime and dial her digits – as she tells me this – da noise is my head is like – ‘I know you trippin!’ I feel for my gurl, however; I am not gonna trip telling her I told you to practice patience and see what time is it b/4 getting’ all caught up. Desperation is not a good perfume to wear! Ole adage, but a truism – “Live and Learn!”

My opinion communicate your feelings verbally, then when you have a feeling that this is someone who both wants something serious, and is worth your time......

my advice is to wait.... the one time that i just did not jump right into the sack after a few dates. i found my soulmate. we waited for weeks. we did not want to ruin the great thing we have by rushing into anything. and it made our first night together, one that we will never, never forget.

we have been married almost 3 years now.. and we Jasmine she is 1 almost 2. and he is the best father to my boys,( they are not his) and my girl.
no child could ever dream up a better father than what he is.

and he is the greatest Husband. he is truly a God send to me,a blessing from God. a answered prayer to me. and my soulmate.

The best advice I ever had was from my oldest cousin (guy): "Be civil, not cordial. Run backwards until he catches you." It worked every time. Of course, the civility became more cordial as time went on. I ran backwards for two years, and he caught me. Fancy footwork won the day. I married the love of my life 42 years ago. He has been gone for six years, and I miss him still.