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Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
Started by OspreyGirl at 2009/09/23 03:34PMLatest post: 2009/09/27 11:11PM, Views: 907, Replies: 72
#31
2009/09/26 06:44PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
rudy2 |
Quote Sunnydaz: Quote KC11: Quote PineValley_Breeze_: I for one am very proud of Mackenzie Phillips for writing her book and telling the world what happened during her childhood. I am a survivor of incest and sexual abuse. My sister is also a survivor. I say survivor instead of victim because we have finally moved on with our lives. It takes a special kind of courage to finally talk about it. Many feel guilty and wonder if they caused it to begin with. Keep in mind that back in the 50's 60's and 70's that sexual abuse was a family's *dirty little secret* Polls show that 3 out of 5 girls were being molested and 2 out of 5 boys. It wasn't until the mid 80's that things came to light and people were being arrested for this crime on children. My sister went into therapy when she was in her 40's and the doctor told her to write letters and get rid of the anger of what our father did. Perhaps this is Mackenzie Phillips' letter to her father. Maybe she can now heal and carry on with a normal life. I pray that she is now out of her *purple haze* with the drugs. ITA! PVB, May God bless you through your hard times or any flashbacks that may resurface. For the life of me, I will never understand how anyone particularly parents would question someone outing incest.  IMO I also can't fathom why anyone would question someone accusing a known creep (dead or alive). FYI - Creeps depend on doubters! Victims commit suicide because of doubters! Victims do not come forward because of doubters. Most victims are children who feel many people will doubt their story!  Doubters, please realize that no one invites molestation of any kind into their lives! I too would not air my dirty laundry on national television...who would invite the humiliation? But I'm guessing many people who choose to air their "dirty laundry" are trying to make sure their story is out there in the public eye just in case they end up DOA.  Yes, I'm sure some may fabricate but nowadays their is so much technology out there to corroborate any story. But even without it I still would rather take a chance when it comes to protecting our children. Anyway, my heart goes out to MP and anyone who is brave enough to share their story as a way to heal their pain. Wow! Unbelievable! I would never normally question anyone accusing someone of this horrah believe me. I'm just saying i have a feeling she's lieing but if i'm wrong i appologize. To her and any innocent victim. Its not right to question or accuse someone of lieing about such a thing and i never would do that if someone came to me and told me something in confidence. But this is a message board and i just wanted to be honest about my instinct on this. Thats all. got it sunny!~ i tole ya how i feel too~ i kin completely understand yer doubts about her story~~dont feel bad cuz you do also~~but still this is ah bigger issue than her story~~ |
#32
2009/09/26 06:46PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
KC11 |
Quote Sunnydaz: Quote KC11: Quote PineValley_Breeze_: I for one am very proud of Mackenzie Phillips for writing her book and telling the world what happened during her childhood. I am a survivor of incest and sexual abuse. My sister is also a survivor. I say survivor instead of victim because we have finally moved on with our lives. It takes a special kind of courage to finally talk about it. Many feel guilty and wonder if they caused it to begin with. Keep in mind that back in the 50's 60's and 70's that sexual abuse was a family's *dirty little secret* Polls show that 3 out of 5 girls were being molested and 2 out of 5 boys. It wasn't until the mid 80's that things came to light and people were being arrested for this crime on children. My sister went into therapy when she was in her 40's and the doctor told her to write letters and get rid of the anger of what our father did. Perhaps this is Mackenzie Phillips' letter to her father. Maybe she can now heal and carry on with a normal life. I pray that she is now out of her *purple haze* with the drugs. ITA! PVB, May God bless you through your hard times or any flashbacks that may resurface. For the life of me, I will never understand how anyone particularly parents would question someone outing incest. IMO I also can't fathom why anyone would question someone accusing a known creep (dead or alive). FYI - Creeps depend on doubters! Victims commit suicide because of doubters! Victims do not come forward because of doubters. Most victims are children who feel many people will doubt their story! Doubters, please realize that no one invites molestation of any kind into their lives! I too would not air my dirty laundry on national television...who would invite the humiliation? But I'm guessing many people who choose to air their "dirty laundry" are trying to make sure their story is out there in the public eye just in case they end up DOA. Yes, I'm sure some may fabricate but nowadays their is so much technology out there to corroborate any story. But even without it I still would rather take a chance when it comes to protecting our children. Anyway, my heart goes out to MP and anyone who is brave enough to share their story as a way to heal their pain. Wow! Unbelievable! I would never normally question anyone accusing someone of this horrah believe me. I'm just saying i have a feeling she's lieing but if i'm wrong i appologize. To her and any innocent victim. Its not right to question or accuse someone of lieing about such a thing and i never would do that if someone came to me and told me something in confidence. But this is a message board and i just wanted to be honest about my instinct on this. Thats all. I apologize if I sounded harsh. It's just in my profession, I witness issues of this type routinely. It saddens me when children have to go to someone else (other than their parents) because they are afraid their parents or family members will not believe them. It happens a lot!!!! This thread just hit me too close to home. Have a great day! 
|
Modified 1 times(s), last time at:
2009/09/26 06:48PM
#33
2009/09/26 06:47PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
gommie |
I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. |
#34
2009/09/26 06:55PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
Sunnydaz |
Good post KC and gommie, i agree. |
#35
2009/09/26 06:58PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
rudy2 |
Quote KC11: Quote Sunnydaz: Quote KC11: Quote PineValley_Breeze_: I for one am very proud of Mackenzie Phillips for writing her book and telling the world what happened during her childhood. I am a survivor of incest and sexual abuse. My sister is also a survivor. I say survivor instead of victim because we have finally moved on with our lives. It takes a special kind of courage to finally talk about it. Many feel guilty and wonder if they caused it to begin with. Keep in mind that back in the 50's 60's and 70's that sexual abuse was a family's *dirty little secret* Polls show that 3 out of 5 girls were being molested and 2 out of 5 boys. It wasn't until the mid 80's that things came to light and people were being arrested for this crime on children. My sister went into therapy when she was in her 40's and the doctor told her to write letters and get rid of the anger of what our father did. Perhaps this is Mackenzie Phillips' letter to her father. Maybe she can now heal and carry on with a normal life. I pray that she is now out of her *purple haze* with the drugs. ITA! PVB, May God bless you through your hard times or any flashbacks that may resurface. For the life of me, I will never understand how anyone particularly parents would question someone outing incest. IMO I also can't fathom why anyone would question someone accusing a known creep (dead or alive). FYI - Creeps depend on doubters! Victims commit suicide because of doubters! Victims do not come forward because of doubters. Most victims are children who feel many people will doubt their story! Doubters, please realize that no one invites molestation of any kind into their lives! I too would not air my dirty laundry on national television...who would invite the humiliation? But I'm guessing many people who choose to air their "dirty laundry" are trying to make sure their story is out there in the public eye just in case they end up DOA. Yes, I'm sure some may fabricate but nowadays their is so much technology out there to corroborate any story. But even without it I still would rather take a chance when it comes to protecting our children. Anyway, my heart goes out to MP and anyone who is brave enough to share their story as a way to heal their pain. Wow! Unbelievable! I would never normally question anyone accusing someone of this horrah believe me. I'm just saying i have a feeling she's lieing but if i'm wrong i appologize. To her and any innocent victim. Its not right to question or accuse someone of lieing about such a thing and i never would do that if someone came to me and told me something in confidence. But this is a message board and i just wanted to be honest about my instinct on this. Thats all. I apologize if I sounded harsh. It's just in my profession, I witness issues of this type routinely. It saddens me when children have to go to someone else (other than their parents) because they are afraid their parents or family members will not believe them. It happens a lot!!!! This thread just hit me too close to home. Have a great day! yup kc~that does suck ha sweetie? i jus learned the hard way that my parents dont really know what theyre doin either~~ but guess what else? i got ah beautiful family ta take all of the messes place!~luv em too!!theyre the best!~ cant be dwellin on the past anyhow ha? let it go an appreciate life, i say!~~(easier said i know)but still~ |
#36
2009/09/26 07:04PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
rudy2 |
Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. gommie,im still thinkin bout allyou said~~ |
#37
2009/09/26 07:08PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
PineValley_B... |
Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. Thank you for this post!! The key to this horrific battle for survivors is to first forgive themselves. The guilty feelings and the fact they allowed this to happen in the first place. I mentioned that it started with me when I was 2 years old. People think you you can't remember back that far. Well I can't tell you what I got for my birthday or Christmas back then. But I can describe in great detail what my bathroom and bedroom looked like. But anyway.. Forgiving yourself and realizing that you are NOT at fault here is the first step to healing. Nobody wants to paint someone close to them as a *bad* person. Getting people to believe you is a whole different story |
#38
2009/09/26 07:25PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
rudy2 |
Quote PineValley_Breeze_: Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. Thank you for this post!! The key to this horrific battle for survivors is to first forgive themselves. The guilty feelings and the fact they allowed this to happen in the first place. I mentioned that it started with me when I was 2 years old. People think you you can't remember back that far. Well I can't tell you what I got for my birthday or Christmas back then. But I can describe in great detail what my bathroom and bedroom looked like. But anyway.. Forgiving yourself and realizing that you are NOT at fault here is the first step to healing. Nobody wants to paint someone close to them as a *bad* person. Getting people to believe you is a whole different story gottcha pvb!~(katie gurlie)this all is ah whole can ah werms we kin nevah be ready fer ha sweetie? |
#39
2009/09/26 07:26PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
gommie |
Quote PineValley_Breeze_: Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. Thank you for this post!! The key to this horrific battle for survivors is to first forgive themselves. The guilty feelings and the fact they allowed this to happen in the first place. I mentioned that it started with me when I was 2 years old. People think you you can't remember back that far. Well I can't tell you what I got for my birthday or Christmas back then. But I can describe in great detail what my bathroom and bedroom looked like. But anyway.. Forgiving yourself and realizing that you are NOT at fault here is the first step to healing. Nobody wants to paint someone close to them as a *bad* person. Getting people to believe you is a whole different story I know -of course you remember-The shame people feel when they are confronted with this truth is so scary to them(what if someone else finds out, oh the shame)the shame they feel is a such big issue to them they can't even give your trauma a second thought- and apparently sadly, what you went through was not nearly as bad for you as the shame they will be faced with if they have to listen and believe what you tell them-they just want you to shut up and go away-
|
Modified 1 times(s), last time at:
2009/09/26 07:27PM
#40
2009/09/26 07:30PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
rudy2 |
Quote gommie: Quote PineValley_Breeze_: Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. Thank you for this post!! The key to this horrific battle for survivors is to first forgive themselves. The guilty feelings and the fact they allowed this to happen in the first place. I mentioned that it started with me when I was 2 years old. People think you you can't remember back that far. Well I can't tell you what I got for my birthday or Christmas back then. But I can describe in great detail what my bathroom and bedroom looked like. But anyway.. Forgiving yourself and realizing that you are NOT at fault here is the first step to healing. Nobody wants to paint someone close to them as a *bad* person. Getting people to believe you is a whole different story I know -of course you remember-The shame people feel when they are confronted with this truth is so scary to them(what if someone else finds out, oh the shame)the shame they feel is a such big issue to them they can't even give your trauma a second thought- and apparently sadly, what you went through was not nearly as bad for you as the shame they will be faced with if they have to listen and believe what you tell them-they just want you to shut up and go away- yer speakin my thoughts gommie~~ |
#41
2009/09/26 07:30PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
rei1 |
Quote PineValley_Breeze_: Quote gommie: I suppose there are people out there who would make up such horrific tales-but I can't imagine it..Who can ever know why MP waited so long-I think there is a time and place for everything and everyone, and hers has come- she may have tried to tell, and no one was interested in listening- who knows-she may not know herself why now. I didn't see the interview so I don't know what all was sad- Usually this kind of dirty little secret doesn't come to light for many, many years-in some cases giving up the secret is triggered by the desire to save another innocent person from the life altering experience this kind of abuse brings with it-It's nice to think that by telling yourself it is not your fault you will somehow be set free- there is no fix for this kind of abuse, no undoing, no erasing-the best a survivor can do is realize that this can never be fixed-it will never go away-accept that it will always be with you,and accept that you will never know what 'normal ' is -the haunting images from the past are part of the long-term psychological trauma you live with-the world MP grew up in is responsible for so many casualties, some grow stronger for the abuses they suffer and others don't survive at all-to everyone who has suffered this degrading, life changing humiliation, be grateful that you are among the strong ones who can call yourself a survivor- there are many, many victims who don't/didn't have the strength or grit needed to pull themselves up by the boot straps and remain victims of this abuse for life.. Thank you for this post!! The key to this horrific battle for survivors is to first forgive themselves. The guilty feelings and the fact they allowed this to happen in the first place. I mentioned that it started with me when I was 2 years old. People think you you can't remember back that far. Well I can't tell you what I got for my birthday or Christmas back then. But I can describe in great detail what my bathroom and bedroom looked like. But anyway.. Forgiving yourself and realizing that you are NOT at fault here is the first step to healing. Nobody wants to paint someone close to them as a *bad* person. Getting people to believe you is a whole different story Breeze....just wanted you to know, your post also took a great deal of courage...and I think you are Fantastic  ((Huggs)) |
#42
2009/09/26 07:55PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
PineValley_B... |
I need to step away from this thread for a while.. |
#43
2009/09/26 07:55PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
gommie |
Quote rudy2: i hear ya pvb~sometimes i wonder how many families have this goin on an keep it ah secret also~ my family also had this goin on~my stepdad took ferevah ta admit to it~my mom decided to try an "werk things out her way" cuz she wuz scared ta be alone with 4 kids~she hided behind bein ah jehovahs witness~them folks decide ta werk everythang out thier own way~sometimes i wonder what would have happened if she wuznt mixed up with them~ guess what also? i luv my stepdad and would never accept anything bad comin to him~~he wuz the only dad i ever knew and luved me wholeheartedly!~ i wuz his princess~he nevah touched me~i carry around alotta guilt fer bein mad at my sister fer bein so mean ta our dad~ she took the rap fer sooo many years an she didnt deserve it at all~ he lied! he wuz the creep she said ~but i still luv him~how skrewed up is that? yeah, pretty screwed up rudy--I guess what you are saying about still loving him is most likely what a lot of families experience- like you did with your sister- you chose to embrace the abuser and turned your anger on her--and she paid some more when the only thing she was guilty of was coming forth- I think this happens a lot- no body in the family wants to deal with it-lets just keep the lie going folks- the one who is 'rocking the boat' so to speak- screwing with the nice little family we have going here is the one who usually becomes the black sheep of the family if you know what I mean--with everything that person has been through- he/she turns out to be the most stable of the bunch-- |
#44
2009/09/26 08:06PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
|
rudy2 |
Quote gommie: Quote rudy2: i hear ya pvb~sometimes i wonder how many families have this goin on an keep it ah secret also~ my family also had this goin on~my stepdad took ferevah ta admit to it~my mom decided to try an "werk things out her way" cuz she wuz scared ta be alone with 4 kids~she hided behind bein ah jehovahs witness~them folks decide ta werk everythang out thier own way~sometimes i wonder what would have happened if she wuznt mixed up with them~ guess what also? i luv my stepdad and would never accept anything bad comin to him~~he wuz the only dad i ever knew and luved me wholeheartedly!~ i wuz his princess~he nevah touched me~i carry around alotta guilt fer bein mad at my sister fer bein so mean ta our dad~ she took the rap fer sooo many years an she didnt deserve it at all~ he lied! he wuz the creep she said ~but i still luv him~how skrewed up is that? yeah, pretty screwed up rudy--I guess what you are saying about still loving him is most likely what a lot of families experience- like you did with your sister- you chose to embrace the abuser and turned your anger on her--and she paid some more when the only thing she was guilty of was coming forth- I think this happens a lot- no body in the family wants to deal with it-lets just keep the lie going folks- the one who is 'rocking the boat' so to speak- screwing with the nice little family we have going here is the one who usually becomes the black sheep of the family if you know what I mean--with everything that person has been through- he/she turns out to be the most stable of the bunch-- gommie~turns out her life is ah mess~~stack that guilt on ha? |
#45
2009/09/26 08:16PM
Re: Did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips?
puddycat |
Actually, the "relative" who abused me visited our house quite often - - when I told my parents, they were understanding but back then and I mean waaaaayyyyy back then, they just didn't discuss these things and rather told me that I might have imagined it and to let it go - - although he very rarely visited after that. |
Modified 1 times(s), last time at:
2009/09/26 08:18PM
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