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anyone on here? need to talk to someone
Started by dcorn at 2009/09/10 07:06PMLatest post: 2009/09/13 12:57PM, Views: 591, Replies: 49
raving |
Quote dcorn: well, last night, he went to jail. my sister-n-law hand was swelled up from him. i am not sure what he did to her hand. she and the boys went to her dads last night. i know the the oldest boys was really upset. he has just turned 12. i am sure she will stay gone for a few days then she will be back again... but we are praying that being in jail will wake up my brother-n-law. he gotta realize what the beer is doing to him . Im glad he was arrested D....I hope your sister has the wake up call.....I think most abusers dont really learn from jail or otherwise.....but I hope you are right!.....so who called the police? your SIL, or one of their kids? |
dcorn |
Quote raving: i am not sure who called.. hubby went to go pick him up from Jail. they released him.
Quote dcorn: well, last night, he went to jail. my sister-n-law hand was swelled up from him. i am not sure what he did to her hand. she and the boys went to her dads last night. i know the the oldest boys was really upset. he has just turned 12. i am sure she will stay gone for a few days then she will be back again... but we are praying that being in jail will wake up my brother-n-law. he gotta realize what the beer is doing to him . Im glad he was arrested D....I hope your sister has the wake up call.....I think most abusers dont really learn from jail or otherwise.....but I hope you are right!.....so who called the police? your SIL, or one of their kids? |
puddycat |
Quote dcorn: Quote raving: i am not sure who called.. Quote dcorn: well, last night, he went to jail. my sister-n-law hand was swelled up from him. i am not sure what he did to her hand. she and the boys went to her dads last night. i know the the oldest boys was really upset. he has just turned 12. i am sure she will stay gone for a few days then she will be back again... but we are praying that being in jail will wake up my brother-n-law. he gotta realize what the beer is doing to him . Im glad he was arrested D....I hope your sister has the wake up call.....I think most abusers dont really learn from jail or otherwise.....but I hope you are right!.....so who called the police? your SIL, or one of their kids? hubby went to go pick him up from Jail. they released him. d - - I'm glad things are better this morning, sorta. And, I am not going to get in the middle of your family affairs, which are private. I just hope, as raving said, that this is a wake up call for your sister-in-law. Having had some experience in domestic abuse, many years ago, if they do it once, they will more than likely do it again and again, especially if alcohol is involved. Counseling is usually the only thing that will stop it, if it does. I send prayers for your family situation, and you take care of yourself, also. Puddy |
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dcorn |
i wish she would too. but he will promise her that he will change and she will be back.... hopefully this time he will keep his promise....... gotta keep praying for him.. |
Eppy |
dcorn, you brother-in-law is a full-blown alcoholic and jail time won't do a thing for him except allow him to sober up for a few days and become remorseful...that is until the next drinking binge. This guy needs to get into a 12-step program as well as anger-management. In cases of DWI, judges quite often order the offender to AA as part of the deal. As far as I'm concerned, the law should also mandate that a drunken abuser be ordered as well. Just as many lives are ruined by domestic violence as by drunk driving on the highway. See if you can get your sister-in-law to Alanon for support and coping strategies. |
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puddycat |
Quote dcorn: i wish she would too. but he will promise her that he will change and she will be back.... hopefully this time he will keep his promise....... gotta keep praying for him.. d - - I really feel for you being in the middle of this, but you did say he had done this before. I am surprised that they let him out. As Eppy said, most judges will order an alcoholic abuser to AA and other counseling. I just went through this with a neighbor last year and he didn't hit his wife, he pushed her and she fell, so she said he hit her. Since there were two little boys involved, one 6 and the other 8, the court kept him in jail for almost a month and he was ordered to AA, plus counseling for domestic abuse for a full year. In this case, since the mother also drank (but not excessively) the judge did not care. The children were taken from both of them and put in the care of their grandmother. So, I don't see how he got out so fast, but I certainly hope you can talk your sister-in-law into getting some type of help, rather than just constantly taking him back. That's all - - I shall remove my nose from this now - - and prayers are coming your way. Puddy |
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raving |
Quote Eppy: dcorn, you brother-in-law is a full-blown alcoholic and jail time won't do a thing for him except allow him to sober up for a few days and become remorseful...that is until the next drinking binge. This guy needs to get into a 12-step program as well as anger-management. In cases of DWI, judges quite often order the offender to AA as part of the deal. As far as I'm concerned, the law should also mandate that a drunken abuser be ordered as well. Just as many lives are ruined by domestic violence as by drunk driving on the highway. See if you can get your sister-in-law to Alanon for support and coping strategies. listen to eppy d.....shes right on the money! |
daisyjo |
I read your post last night and have been thinking about you ever since. I said a prayer for your sister-in-law and her children and for you. Try not to worry so much and take care of yourself. They say God only gives us what we can handle, I don't know how true that is but you sound like a strong person. Just know that there are people you don't even know thinking of you and hoping all turns out okay. |
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Eppy |
Quote puddycat: Quote dcorn: i wish she would too. but he will promise her that he will change and she will be back.... hopefully this time he will keep his promise....... gotta keep praying for him.. d - - I really feel for you being in the middle of this, but you did say he had done this before. I am surprised that they let him out. As Eppy said, most judges will order an alcoholic abuser to AA and other counseling. I just went through this with a neighbor last year and he didn't hit his wife, he pushed her and she fell, so she said he hit her. Since there were two little boys involved, one 6 and the other 8, the court kept him in jail for almost a month and he was ordered to AA, plus counseling for domestic abuse for a full year. In this case, since the mother also drank (but not excessively) the judge did not care. The children were taken from both of them and put in the care of their grandmother. So, I don't see how he got out so fast, but I certainly hope you can talk your sister-in-law into getting some type of help, rather than just constantly taking him back. That's all - - I shall remove my nose from this now - - and prayers are coming your way. Puddy Puddy, I didn't say most judges order an alcoholic abuser to AA or anger management. I said they will order someone convicted of a DWI to a 12-step program. My point was, judges should order abusers to 12-step programs as well, but it is rare that they do. |
ILuvNY |
Quote Eppy: dcorn, you brother-in-law is a full-blown alcoholic and jail time won't do a thing for him except allow him to sober up for a few days and become remorseful...that is until the next drinking binge. This guy needs to get into a 12-step program as well as anger-management. In cases of DWI, judges quite often order the offender to AA as part of the deal. As far as I'm concerned, the law should also mandate that a drunken abuser be ordered as well. Just as many lives are ruined by domestic violence as by drunk driving on the highway. See if you can get your sister-in-law to Alanon for support and coping strategies. Bingo! D, this is EXCELLENT advice!!!! |
wannazach |
Hi D! I haven't had time to read all of the posts yet but this is jmho. He will never change. I have been there and done that. It is no way to live your life not knowing what little thing might trigger a beating. She needs her confidence built up and try and convince her she can make it on her own. It will be hard or even not possible at all but an abuser cannot just wake up one day and say I am cured. It will be a cold day in hell before a man even things about touching me again! I would rather have no one than someone like that. She is gonna need a lot of support. I wish her and you all luck and happiness. |
shirley 2 |
Quote wannazach: Hi D! I haven't had time to read all of the posts yet but this is jmho. He will never change. I have been there and done that. It is no way to live your life not knowing what little thing might trigger a beating. She needs her confidence built up and try and convince her she can make it on her own. It will be hard or even not possible at all but an abuser cannot just wake up one day and say I am cured. It will be a cold day in hell before a man even things about touching me again! I would rather have no one than someone like that. She is gonna need a lot of support. I wish her and you all luck and happiness. Dcorn i hope everything is better today then last night, you was one unhappy lady. I hope that your sister-in-law and the kids are fine, so good luck and i wish the best for all. |
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dcorn |
first of all , thank you all my wonderful friends. knowing that i have such great friends to be there when ever i need them .is a true blessing to me....... |
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shirley 2 |
Quote dcorn: first of all , thank you all my wonderful friends. knowing that i have such great friends to be there when ever i need them .is a true blessing to me....... God has really blessed me with all of you. update............ he wasserved with 5 retraining orders this afternoon. we was made to leave his property. she has now since made it back home. she is very upset. but he says it is over. maybe they will end it for good. They need to end it before something bad happens and then it will be to late, i know it will be hard on both sides but in long term it is the best if they go separate ways before a bad thing hAPPENS |
bigtimesoapfan |
I'll keep them in my prayers!! |
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