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Abortion Doctor Murdered

Started by cats meow at 2009/06/01 05:00AM
Latest post: 2009/06/09 08:47AM, Views: 1801, Replies: 187
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#121   2009/06/08 12:32PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
cats meow
image

lovesit, you do not have to answer this, but i am going to ask, again it is absolutely none of my business and you do not have to answer me were they convicted?

#122   2009/06/08 01:07PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
lovesit
image

cats - Its OK. This is anonymous and actually feels good for me...They weren't convicted b/c I never reported them.

Why did I not report them?
The first was my freshman year in college. Me and my roomies threw the biggest party of the year with one week left. I got too drunk, and thought if I went into my room, closed the door, and passed out it would be ok. It wasn't. The guy was a baseball player (I was also on an thletic scholarship). I felt there would be bigger problems if I reported him, for more people than just me. (loss of scholarship, loss of then boyfriend - now hubby...)
The second time was like the first. I thought if I made it to my bed, I could pass out safely.
I felt, both times, that it was mainly my fault. Why would I report something I caused? Had I not drank so much, I would not have been in that situation. I know this for a fact, b/c one other night before the second time, a third guy came into my room and woke me up by being on top of me. Thankfully, he was the one drunk, not me. So they went unreported. It would have came down to my word against his, anyways. So I doubt a prosecutor would have even took my case. I bet you want to know why didn't I just lock my door?
The first time, that night was the night I realized my lock was broken. The second (near rape) time was because I had locked our front door before going to bed, but apparently my roomie went out and forgot. The third time, my lock was broken and I was waiting for the apt service man to fix it.
I don't regret not reporting them, b/c I truly feel I caused them. Since then, I have never been so drunk I have to pass out. I plan according to my paranoia - I only drink if my hubby is there (we are still young and go out every weekend)and always have a contingency plan if something were to happen still.

#123   2009/06/08 04:02PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
Plot-Twister
image

Quote lovesit: cats - Its OK. This is anonymous and actually feels good for me...They weren't convicted b/c I never reported them.

Why did I not report them?
The first was my freshman year in college. Me and my roomies threw the biggest party of the year with one week left. I got too drunk, and thought if I went into my room, closed the door, and passed out it would be ok. It wasn't. The guy was a baseball player (I was also on an thletic scholarship). I felt there would be bigger problems if I reported him, for more people than just me. (loss of scholarship, loss of then boyfriend - now hubby...)
The second time was like the first. I thought if I made it to my bed, I could pass out safely.
I felt, both times, that it was mainly my fault. Why would I report something I caused? Had I not drank so much, I would not have been in that situation. I know this for a fact, b/c one other night before the second time, a third guy came into my room and woke me up by being on top of me. Thankfully, he was the one drunk, not me. So they went unreported. It would have came down to my word against his, anyways. So I doubt a prosecutor would have even took my case. I bet you want to know why didn't I just lock my door?
The first time, that night was the night I realized my lock was broken. The second (near rape) time was because I had locked our front door before going to bed, but apparently my roomie went out and forgot. The third time, my lock was broken and I was waiting for the apt service man to fix it.
I don't regret not reporting them, b/c I truly feel I caused them. Since then, I have never been so drunk I have to pass out. I plan according to my paranoia - I only drink if my hubby is there (we are still young and go out every weekend)and always have a contingency plan if something were to happen still.


Isn't it sad that in today's world women are still percieved as the one to blame in a rape situation? Many women are raped in college and they don't report it for the same reasons.

I hope you know that you were most def not to blame. No matter what you were wearing, what you drank, anything, rape is not your fault. Really not your fault.

Now, getting back to the subject (well, one of them ) at hand....and I don't mean this question to sound heartless. If it does, then please feel free to not answer. But isn't the morning after pill a form of abortion?

#124   2009/06/08 04:11PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
Plot-Twister
image

Quote lovesit:
Quote Plot-Twister:
Quote lovesit: Wow...I am taking no offense to anything here, but I wanted to say...I HAVE been raped, twice, in two different years, and maybe I got pregnant. I will never know b/c I took the morning after pill, after locking myself up for days and not being able to tell anyone. I also have a family member who sexually abused some other family members. I have also suffered a miscarriage.
With these experiences in my life, here is my take.

Plot, your son is way too young to not have gotten counseling. If he was 40, maybe I could understand the thought process of "Can't teach an old dog new tricks"..thereby reforming him (I think you would disagree with me on that, but thats how it is for me). But he is young, and obviously should have been helped. If he has paid his debt to society (although it sounds like he still is getting punished) then I say it is now time to help him heal. I am sincerly sorry to hear these stories about how our system fails us.
Older sexual offenders, I tend to feel like alwatysEJ. I say this knowing most here will strongly disagree.
Do you still want me raped again? Maybe this time with a baby and the after pill doesn't work? That was very harsh. Agreeing with the death penalty does not make us all deserving of such things. Thats all. I am still sorry for you and your son. I at least see where you are coming from now on a lot of your views. (That was not typed in a demeaning manner, I don't want it to come across that way)

Back to topic...can anyone answer grits question? What has the murdered been sentenced with?


No, I don't want you raped again. You seem to have a human as opposed to a vulcan heart. In reference to my son I noticed things were wrong almost immediately...therapist after therapist just said he needed a hug or to draw pretty pictures (no, I am not mailigning art therapy) They would not listen to me. One christian counselor I took him to told me to send him back to his birth mom.
My overall point on the pedophile subject is this: Yes it is wrong, abhorant, disgusting..I will give you all of that. My son is almost 16, he isn't going to get better. You never get better once you start to really act upon your urges. People don't tend to see the child who becomes what they become...they see the final result. So why wait until my kid is forty to kill him? He is going to be the same. See what I am saying? Get them help when the parent brings them in and actually listen to them. There should be federal housing with locks on their doors (similar to a mental institution because it is a mental disorder) so they cannot hurt others. Don't kill them because they are ill. If that were the case where will it stop? Oh, we don't like post traumatic stress victems, lets kill them. We don't like this schizophrenia thing, lets kill them. And on and on and on.

I do appreciate your addressing the situation with a kindness that is not prevelant in some people who post here. I know he is a monster. But that monster is my kid. I have been fighting with governmental agencies for years and no one wants to deal with it because their constituants don't want anything to do with this disease.


For you to have to type this out brings tears to me. I am so sorry and wish I had some recommendation, or some contact person. I can only hope you have found some solace in something.
I bolded the parts I wanted to address as they fit with the prior discussion.
1. "Christian" does not make you decent. I hope you filed a complaint.
2. If your child was getting the help he deserves, we will not have to worry about him at 40. Yes, the disease will always be there. But therapy is what makes them suppress the actions. The process of finding a way to suppress the disease.
3. No parent should have to feel this way about their child, but it is obvious you still love him, as you should.
Your child needs help, not the needle. There is no legal reason these people are not giving some therapy to him. Is it possible you could sue?
Again, I wish I had some words of wisdom, anything. But I don't. I have no idea what I would do. I can only wish you the best of luck, and would offer you prayers if I knew you would take them.


Nope, I didn't report that counselor. No one was believing me anyway...they thought I was making things up. I called child protective services on myself...since he was a kid...welll they didn't do anything. When he was older, I reported myself again, actually went before a judge to have him removed from my home...admitted publically that I was a bad mother for not being able to keep all of my children safe and the judge asked me what I had been doing...I tell my story, he asks what my safety plan is and basically he was in his room with a doorbell rigged so that every time he opened his door we were alerted. The judge said I was doing everything I could and would not remove him. I have 2 smaller children. I was astounded that they would do nothing! It actually took him going to the final horrid step and I had to convince the person to press charges before he was put in jail. Now he is out in a foster home and I moniter his activity as much as I can but I am no match for him.

There is no, I repeat NO cure or remission or any getting better from pedophilia. These people are who they are. Research has shown that if the children get counseling when they are in their defining years (under 10) they may be able to be helped. The problem is no one believes anyone.

I don't bring this up to get a "poor plottwister" but instead to try to bring some understanding that these people know they are wrong. They don't want to do what they do. They cannot simply quit. There is no 12 step program. So whether he is 14 or 40 he will be the same. He will fight urges, he will succumb. That is why I advocate sending them away, but not to death. That is cruel for a mental disorder.

#125   2009/06/08 05:07PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
lovesit
image

Plot
I think the morning after pill can be considered an abortion and a deterrent, depending on how fast you take it after the incident. As for blame, I think its ok for me to accept most of the blame in my instances. I should have learned, at the very least, to not drink if my door knob is broken to my bedroom. Especially after the second time, the "attempt." I knew there were questionable characters at my school. The problem was that they housed all of us on athletic scholarships (all sports) in the same apt complex. So there was too much testosterone around us girls.

I can't remember if I posted here on in another thread, I believe there are 3 acceptable abortions. When the mother's life is threatened, the baby's life is threatened, or the mother is raped. I don't believe in it as birth control, though.
For your son, the only thing I can think of to get him help would probably put him in danger from the public. I was thinking maybe write a letter to the newspaper, or rally at your courthouse, for help. But like I said, that would probably just bring out the vigilantes out there, and not help anyone. I truly wish you the best of luck.

#126   2009/06/08 06:38PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
Plot-Twister
image

Quote lovesit: Plot
I think the morning after pill can be considered an abortion and a deterrent, depending on how fast you take it after the incident. As for blame, I think its ok for me to accept most of the blame in my instances. I should have learned, at the very least, to not drink if my door knob is broken to my bedroom. Especially after the second time, the "attempt." I knew there were questionable characters at my school. The problem was that they housed all of us on athletic scholarships (all sports) in the same apt complex. So there was too much testosterone around us girls.

I can't remember if I posted here on in another thread, I believe there are 3 acceptable abortions. When the mother's life is threatened, the baby's life is threatened, or the mother is raped. I don't believe in it as birth control, though.
For your son, the only thing I can think of to get him help would probably put him in danger from the public. I was thinking maybe write a letter to the newspaper, or rally at your courthouse, for help. But like I said, that would probably just bring out the vigilantes out there, and not help anyone. I truly wish you the best of luck.


One thing I really want you to believe is that nothing that happened was your fault. So you knew your doorknob was broken....big deal. Does that mean that everyone with a broken doorknob is at fault for a rape? It isn't a rape me once shame on you, rape me twice shame on me kind of thing. Rape isn't about sex (as you know) it is about power. By you accepting responsiblity you are giving those aholes more power. Every college has issues with rape. As women we cannot hide in our rooms or not get an education because something might happen to us. If some guy thinks it is ok to try to have sex with someone who is passed out and cannot give consent, that guy is more into the power of the situation and not the actual act itself. Drinking too much, who hasn't done that? There is no such thing as consent by drinking.

I personally think you are very strong to talk about this. I am sure it is very traumatic (I also have been in similar situations). To discuss it is theraputic I find.Especially with the anonymity equation.

#127   2009/06/08 08:05PM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
sarahconnor
image

Quote lovesit: Plot
I think the morning after pill can be considered an abortion and a deterrent, depending on how fast you take it after the incident. As for blame, I think its ok for me to accept most of the blame in my instances. I should have learned, at the very least, to not drink if my door knob is broken to my bedroom. Especially after the second time, the "attempt." I knew there were questionable characters at my school. The problem was that they housed all of us on athletic scholarships (all sports) in the same apt complex. So there was too much testosterone around us girls.

I can't remember if I posted here on in another thread, I believe there are 3 acceptable abortions. When the mother's life is threatened, the baby's life is threatened, or the mother is raped. I don't believe in it as birth control, though.
For your son, the only thing I can think of to get him help would probably put him in danger from the public. I was thinking maybe write a letter to the newspaper, or rally at your courthouse, for help. But like I said, that would probably just bring out the vigilantes out there, and not help anyone. I truly wish you the best of luck.


lovesit, my heart goes out to you. i definitely agree with Plot - it is not your fault no matter what the circumstance. i firmly believe that a woman could be passed out completely nude & accessible yet that does NOT condone rape. nothing does. that is to suggest men can not suppress basic needs past the "ID" when it comes to the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model. they have a functioning brain whereas a conscious of what they are doing exists just like a female has. I don't care about hormone differences. rape is a crime and when we condone it
under any circumstance, we are saying that it's understandable or acceptable for a male to do this under certain occurrences without consent from a female. no matter what the situation..it's always wrong. I think you are brave to talk about it as well and i can't judge your choices on turning them in or not....i don't know what i would do in your place due to the scholarship, etc. i went to college on student loans which i'm still paying. if it were a scholarship, who knows...i may not want to say anything either. there is part of me that thinks "I would definitely turn them in" but i have not been in your situation so i can't say what i would or would not do. one has to actually be in that same situation in order to make statements about what they would or would not do. bottom line, it was not your fault...you have enough to deal with by having gone through it. please do not blame yourself on top of it all. I'm so sorry that it happened to you..

but i have to point out that i hope you were not saying i was the exception of the acceptable abortions since 4 stories were mentioned. Me, Cats, Juliet & Wanna opened up about it yet you say 3 are acceptable. i'm sorry if mine didn't make the cut but it is what it is.

#128   2009/06/09 08:47AM
Re: Abortion Doctor Murdered
lovesit
image

Quote sarahconnor:
Quote lovesit: Plot
I think the morning after pill can be considered an abortion and a deterrent, depending on how fast you take it after the incident. As for blame, I think its ok for me to accept most of the blame in my instances. I should have learned, at the very least, to not drink if my door knob is broken to my bedroom. Especially after the second time, the "attempt." I knew there were questionable characters at my school. The problem was that they housed all of us on athletic scholarships (all sports) in the same apt complex. So there was too much testosterone around us girls.

I can't remember if I posted here on in another thread, I believe there are 3 acceptable abortions. When the mother's life is threatened, the baby's life is threatened, or the mother is raped. I don't believe in it as birth control, though.
For your son, the only thing I can think of to get him help would probably put him in danger from the public. I was thinking maybe write a letter to the newspaper, or rally at your courthouse, for help. But like I said, that would probably just bring out the vigilantes out there, and not help anyone. I truly wish you the best of luck.


lovesit, my heart goes out to you. i definitely agree with Plot - it is not your fault no matter what the circumstance. i firmly believe that a woman could be passed out completely nude & accessible yet that does NOT condone rape. nothing does. that is to suggest men can not suppress basic needs past the "ID" when it comes to the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model. they have a functioning brain whereas a conscious of what they are doing exists just like a female has. I don't care about hormone differences. rape is a crime and when we condone it
under any circumstance, we are saying that it's understandable or acceptable for a male to do this under certain occurrences without consent from a female. no matter what the situation..it's always wrong. I think you are brave to talk about it as well and i can't judge your choices on turning them in or not....i don't know what i would do in your place due to the scholarship, etc. i went to college on student loans which i'm still paying. if it were a scholarship, who knows...i may not want to say anything either. there is part of me that thinks "I would definitely turn them in" but i have not been in your situation so i can't say what i would or would not do. one has to actually be in that same situation in order to make statements about what they would or would not do. bottom line, it was not your fault...you have enough to deal with by having gone through it. please do not blame yourself on top of it all. I'm so sorry that it happened to you..

but i have to point out that i hope you were not saying i was the exception of the acceptable abortions since 4 stories were mentioned. Me, Cats, Juliet & Wanna opened up about it yet you say 3 are acceptable. i'm sorry if mine didn't make the cut but it is what it is.


No, I was not conscencely? pointing you out/excluding you. I was just saying my stance b/c I thought plot asked me my interpretation of abortion versus my usage of the morning after pill.
But, just like you said, I don't know what I would have done in your shoes. My belief system might have won, or I might have had the procedure. We will never know. Just b/c I don't think some instances are right does not mean I believe I always make the right choices, either. Believe me, I've made some pretty dumb ones.

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