Soaps.com - MESSAGE BOARDS

quote sarah...and you are right, no one should judge you for your choices. they are yours and what is right for you. i think the world would be a much better and happier place if many people minded their own business and realized what is right for one person, may not be for another. i agree i think you can have both and find balance. or you can do one or the other..it depends on how you feel and what you want in life.

AMEN

i spoke to my GYN about this and he said, you have to be married at least 3 years, you and your husband need to come in and talk to me about the procedure, he has to sign a form to give permission, i think, i cannot remember,if our ins covered it, i was in a hospital overnight, those days are gone, all this out patient surgeries now

Women's Lib ruined my life.

I could have stayed home and raised my son if it wasn't for having to have a 2 income family because of the high cost of living. It isn't cheap these days or back then. Besides i love to clean and cook and stay home. Its fun and rewarding. But noooooooo i needed to be part of the partnership in the bread winning. What a crock.

I'm kidding......not really. Ok i wouldn't change a thing, except for the part that i wish i married a rich man. I'm bsing you, really what happened was i didnt have to go back to work till my son was 3 and i have to say those 3 years were the happiest years of my life. I loved LOVED staying home and being with my son. He was so cute and fun to watch grow. But by the time he was around 3sh i needed to go back to work, plus we moved from CA to FL. My ex started a business, plus the move forced me to go back to work. It was so hard leaving him in daycare omg i wanted to die. They even asked me why i came in for so long while i dropped him off in the morning.......and asap i picked him up. Anyway time went on and i built a business (clientel) myself and i balanced everything, him growing up and i worked everyday building a business. I love my job it is my passion but i really loved being a stay at home mom too.

Now that he's all grown up and is a healthy, loving, responsible, cool person i realize what a gr8 job i did and i have no regrets that i went back to work because i think having both made me grateful for the things i do have and i never took anything for grated.

ITA!!! While I think it's great for women who choose career over family that they can do that @ the same time I think for us women who choose to be moms it has ruined it! No linger can 1 person work to support the family both need jobs and usually daycare and as a past daycare teacher and my children attended as well as I said somewhere else it was the worst decision I ever made!! We shouldn't be penalized for choosing to be parents!

i don't think *any* of us should be penalized for our choices regardless of what they are. they are individual and personal. i admire women who can stay home and balance everything & get joy from it. i think being a stay at home mom OR DAD is HARD. i say that b/c i lack patience badly and i know this about myself. i was never much of a person who went crazy over kids or babies ever. i am constantly working on myself in regards to patience but there are days i just think i was not meant for the job. i did choose it tho, so i do the best i can and always put my children first. without a doubt i love them and would give my life for them. i think i felt i was being judged pre-kids for not wanting children at one point and even started feeling that maybe others were right, i would regret it if i didn't have them. although i'm happy they are here, i do realize i would have been just fine had i never known the difference. i feel stupid for allowing society to make me feel ashamed for not wanting the same things as others just b/c i'm "female". it's not about society..screw that. it's about what you feel "inside"...for some of us, it's a yearning for children and for some it's just not. it doesn't make anyone weird, cold or mean, just different. i think both experiences are fantastic as long as it was right for the person who made the choice. i do not believe in judging it either way. i do wish our economy was better so more people could stay home with their kids if that is their desire. i definitely respect anyone who wants to do that! personally i do like to work, i don't like to clean, hate housework, love to be out socializing. that does not make me selfish or a bad person..it's just who i am. however i make my choices based on what is best for my kids ..i don't socialize as much, i do clean alot although i despise it, i cook and i despise that too. i have to work anyway b/c i really don't have a choice in that. i do make the bulk of the income - one child has special needs in which socializing is good for him so daycare is a good thing in his case. my income allows for all of his needed therapy as well. he gets some of the best therapy as a result. he gets socialization, therapy and time with me at home. i spend the majority of my "off" time with my kids and any time for me is when i can squeeze it in. i really wish i could say i get joy out of it all, but i just don't as much as others may. i will be alot happier when they are older so i can regain some of my personal life again - and as i don't judge those who love kids and want to be around them as much as possible, i would hope they would extend the same courtesy and not judge me. if we could all appreciate each other's differences, the world would be a much better place indeed.

i so agree sarah, no one should be judged regarding their decisions, i have to say,(it's so funny to be remembering all of this so long ago) many people judged me, especially the women i worked with, they were a bit older, i was mid 20's, and some had plenty to say, selfish, spoiled, lazy, one women had the nerve to ask me why i ever got married, i told her it was because i fell in love, i do regret one thing tho, being honest with my parents, they were heart broken (i am an only child), they thought they had somehow failed as parents, what they didn't realize at the time was they taught me to be honest and strong to make my own decisions, when my dad died and my mother came to live with us, she finally saw how happy we were, just the 2 of us, i know i made the right decision for me, i have nieces and nephews in my life and that is just perfect, i also say we should all support each other in whatever choices we have made

thank you so much ladies, i just applaud my parents for making me who i am today, they did a great job raising me, oh no, i am touting my own horn, LOL, take a quick look in the assisted suicide thread, get another glimpse of me

I love being a mom but like I always say God gave a woman 2 hands, 2 arms, 2 sides, 2 ears and 2 eyes,; so she only needs 2 kids.
I wish there weren't 8 years between my 2 but sometimes I'm glad there is b/c I got time w/ each one of them when they were/are little. Ash and I are close and I hope that continues through her teens.
But whatever a woman chooses kids & family or Career these 2 groups of women should support each other not fight amongst each other, or try to make one feel bad, for their choices b/c you don't know the reasons behind them.