Soaps.com - MESSAGE BOARDS

I say this on Tyra yesterday she had a panel of married women with children and a panel of single women who don't want kids or marriage. Which life is better to everyone. Me personally I believe having a career is fulfilling but I believe you can't have both you can't be the best at your career with a family look at Oprah and Martha Stewart. Im not saying you can't have a fulfilling career and a family its just hard to be the best at everything without something lacking. in my opinon I am a young working mother and wife I have a very successful business I was single for a while but I knew in the end my business isn't going to be there for me I knew I wanted more. So I got married and had kids which I love. I never regret not staying single or living the jet setting life style. I love my business its my passion but my children are my heart and my first priority. I just beileve you can have it all you just have to have balance. What do u ladies think? Does anyone regret having kids or regret focusing on work so much and not having a family?

Financially my kids are the worst thing to happen but honestly I could care less! I wouldn't trade them for the world!! I would've liked to finish school to get a better job, and more money but not @ the expense of my kids. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week(fri pm and Mon am) so I can be home for my kids durng the school week and still be home during the day on the weekends. I work from 9 at night till same in the am, get a few hours sleep then spend time with my family it's nice! Their are days I wish I had more But everything happens for a reason!!

i was 22 when i got married, told my future husband i did not want children, he said he would be happy either way, we were married 3 yrs when i had my tubes tied, he had to give permission(it was 1975), i have never regretted my decision, i think he missed being a dad for awhile, now, no regrets, we have been married for 36 plus years

Princess : Exactly!! A "full time" day job is nothing compared to a full time Mommy job! They don't get that because they don't have any!! I'd take scraped knees and Boo boo bears over a good $$$ job any day!! If I had to choose! Even when Im having a bad day one smile from them makes everything worth while!!
When I found out #1 was on the way that was right after I had quit my job, had plane tickets to move to Florida and then the stick turned pink and my whole life changed and I wouldn't have it any other way! It was alot of work that my then Bf now hubby had to work through but we did and now except for $$ issues and him being laid off, Life is good!!
Hey by the way are you on Facebook?

My mother was told when I was 14 that I would never be able to bear children because of the severe scaring from endometriosis. She told me when I was 18 (along with other doctors) By that time I had several laporoscopies done and life was HELL. I focused all of my energy on work. I was single and loving it. I knew I wanted to get married and I had convinced myself I didn't want kids. Then I got pregnant. I was a hard one (bed rest the whole time grrrr) and then got pregnant again (hospital bedrest 5 weeks and a 5 week preemie). I tried going back, but I didn't last a week. I feel (for me) that children need a parent at home. I am blessed to be able to do that. Many do not have that luxury. I think middle and high school years kids also need someone home. I know the stuff I got into and times are even faster now. I know they are going to experiment and do what they want...but they are going to have to think about it and plan it and hopefully that will slow things down a bit.

I don't think you can say that kids or no kids is better. it is all up to the individual or couple.

The question that always interests me is working women with no kids and working moms....that dichotomy....the fairness of it all if the working moms get to leave a bit early for a game but yet the non moms never get to leave early for a nail appt. Is there any resentment? I would think so. Interesting to say the least.

Cats - Your hubs had to give permission? I am glad we have come a long way baby!

we are a diverse group aren't we???

i think being a married woman with kids is a very fullfilling job. i have worked in the work force. but, i now i do not have to, and i do not. i would not ever trade my home time with my children for anything... being able to be home now, and watching my kids growing up ,and watching Jasmine do all her firsts,makes me realize how much of the boys' lifes i had missed while i had to work..

I felt the same way too! My kids were in daycare My son went from 3 months to 4 years old and my daughter went until 2 1/2 (until she got kicked out for throwing a block @ her teachers head) For the next year I worked full time nights@ Wal*Mart(I hated it) then got the job I have now working o/n (with people with disabilities living in a group home) I got to enjoy spending more time with my kids since doing this and wish I had tried it sooner! My children are the reason I do everything!!

Doctors really don't like to do it unless it's medically necessary and alot of women including myself even though we have good reasons for having it done on some level we regrett it! I had mine in 2002 and I had asked my doc in jan of 01 if I could have it after she was born, and after all the run arounds 1 year later I had it!

I do find it funny though that even back then a man can get Himself "fixed" with no q's asked!! Must be nice although I'd rather be a girl!!

My tubes were tied in '06 after my son was born via c-section. When I found out about Nate's coming I told my family Dr. that after the experience I had in '98 w/ Ash's birth I did' want the same Dr. I said I want someone who will not give me any S))T about getting my tubes tied and who will give me another section. I brought in a list of approved Obs by my insurance and he told me there were 3 that he could see me not "having issues with".

I think that those who don't want to be parents shouldn't and those who do should... But then again w/ the way some kids are treated I think people should have to get a license to conceive. I mean down here you have to go through home inspection to adopt an animal. But to have a child all you have to do is lay down and spread 'em.
I can't imagine my life w/o my kids....w/o my in laws now that would be AWSOME.
My BIL, wants to give the Duggars a run for their money. His wife has 3, He has 2 w/ his X and they've got twins on the way. He works for my MIL's Lawn care and she is an office manager at a pediatrics office. That's 7 kids at under 30.

this is an interesting subject and very individual. i think it's ok if you don't want kids and it's ok if you do. same with relationships. i don't feel women should be shamed for wanting to work on their careers vs having kids. i don't feel women should be shamed for getting pregnant early. i don't feel they should be shamed for any choice as long as it's the right one for them. it seems women get the judgment and backlash while men get a slap on the hand and comments such as "that's just a guy for you" when it comes to their choices...i hate it. i work and have 2 kids. i do have to work, i make the most money. i love both very much but i do not think i was cut out to be a parent at times. one child is very very difficult and although i do the best i can, at the end of the day i don't feel alot of happiness or joy. i wish i did. i really wish i could go back in time and select a different mate. i am NOT MARRIED and choose to not to be married. we have been engaged for a long time and refer to ourselves as married alot to avoid alot of uncomfortable questions but this has been my choice. he is Catholic (very Catholic family) - i am NOT. i am not converting for the sake of a marriage (i will never change who i am and my beliefs for another) - and i'm not marrying to please society. maybe if i was truly in love i would marry but well..i'm not. i guess when we first got together i thought i felt differently at the time. there is so much pressure from society at times for women to be married & have kids as if that is our sole purpose. i think in the beginning my choices were actually governed by some of that..i thought if i did not have kids, i would regret it. i don't regret having them, but i realize now, i was just fine on my own. maybe this is not the most politically correct post but it's honest.