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Y&R Buddies
Started by k-bit at 2009/05/01 05:43AMLatest post: 2009/11/19 02:24PM, Views: 29869, Replies: 1388
annamarie73 |
Quote nonnie7: Help everybody - My family and I desparately need your prayers for our daughter, Laura, who was told today that she has breast cancer. Laura is 45 years old; has an extremely high-pressure job; is going through a divorce; has two sons, Ben and Nate, who are 15 and 12 and a private boarding school is trying to woo Ben into leaving home and attending their school because of his abilities and although she's upset that he would be away from home, she doesn't want to - darn, I'm so upset that I can't even think straight - you know what I mean in that she doesn't want to hold him back if he wants to do this. She discovered the lump on Sunday, had a digital mammagram on Monday, got the results yesterday, saw the surgeon today who immediately got in her face and said he can tell even before the biopsy that it's malignant. Her biopsy is tomorrow (Thursday) and if the results are what the surgeon says they will absolutely be, her surgery will be on July 16. We don't know what will happen after that for sure but can venture a guess. I understand that the course of treatment is different for everybody but with our prayers, I'm hopeing that it won't even be necessary. Please keep Laura in your prayers. The old saying about how life is what happens when you're making other plans sure does apply. Love you all, Dora Dora, For what it is worth I vote for a 2nd opinion also. At my annual mammogram in 10/06, they found "something" under my arm, said it was either an infected, inflamed lymph node or "something else". Had an ultra sound, MRI, chest scan, a thing where they draw your blood, put somehthing in it and put the blood back in and then take "moving" pictures of your heart. The MRI showed NOTHING in my breast. The surgeon said it had to be coming from the breast and was microscopic. Suggested a masectomy. Fortunatly my sister's sister-in-law works at the cancer center here and got me in to see an oncologist. He sent me for another MRI in a nearby city and again, NOTHING in the breast. Told surgeon to take "nodes" and he would treat me. I had 7 nodes removed from under my arm and then had 4 chemos and 5 1/2 wks radiation. I just went last week for my 2yr check up and all is fine so far. It may be different with your daughter since she does have a lump. Still I would want a 2nd opinion. JMO. Hope all goes well for her whatever she decides. I'm 67. love & prayers, annamarie |
Blue 501 |
Nonnie (Dora?), I am very sorry to hear about your daughter's problem. I had a partial mastectomy & radiation last year. From what they told me, they can predict which lumps are cancer by the shape of them (spiculated) but I hope they are wrong about your daughter's lump. |
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annamarie73 |
Quote Blue 501: Nonnie (Dora?), I am very sorry to hear about your daughter's problem. I had a partial mastectomy & radiation last year. From what they told me, they can predict which lumps are cancer by the shape of them (spiculated) but I hope they are wrong about your daughter's lump. Annamarie: I remember you saying that you had it in your lymph nodes but not in your breast. My sentinel node & the other string of them they checked were clear but now I have a big lump in the axillary area. The biopsy did not show any epithelial cells but the lump has tripled in size since the biopsy & there are huge ridges of scar tissue where they did it even tho it was just a needle biopsy. They don't know what it is but suspect scar tissue or infection. They are checking it again July 15 but it is hard not to worry, especially with the lump growing so fast. It definitely was infected. I took 10 days of antibiotics & felt better but the danged thing is still getting bigger. Any advice? Blue, I really don't know. Are the drs there considered very good in their field? We have a very highly rated cancer center where I live and my oncologist is one of the best around. The radiologist on my first talk with him before treatments began, said I was stage 4 Br. Cancer:-( I was really taken aback, but he said it's just a number??? I had the chemo first, one every 3 wks and a week or so break and then the radiation. JMO but I think I would consider a 2nd opinion elsewhere if you haven't had one. I'm really hesitant to give advice, just so thankful that my sister insisted on a 2nd opinion. I probably would have had anyway after the initial shock of the diagnosis wore of off. Please keep us informed. You sound like you have really done some research or have some technical medical knowledge?? I have to take Arimidex for 3 more yrs and maybe longer. They said mine was hormone driven???? I went thru the "change in my late 40's early 50's, can't remember just the exact time. Took Premarin, low dose for hot flashes and insomina, which worked, but didn't take them for very long. Don't like to take anything I don't absolutely have to. Don't know if this has been helful, but will pray for you. Annamarie |
got2beme |
Quote nonnie7: Help everybody - My family and I desparately need your prayers for our daughter, Laura, who was told today that she has breast cancer. Laura is 45 years old; has an extremely high-pressure job; is going through a divorce; has two sons, Ben and Nate, who are 15 and 12 and a private boarding school is trying to woo Ben into leaving home and attending their school because of his abilities and although she's upset that he would be away from home, she doesn't want to - darn, I'm so upset that I can't even think straight - you know what I mean in that she doesn't want to hold him back if he wants to do this. She discovered the lump on Sunday, had a digital mammagram on Monday, got the results yesterday, saw the surgeon today who immediately got in her face and said he can tell even before the biopsy that it's malignant. Her biopsy is tomorrow (Thursday) and if the results are what the surgeon says they will absolutely be, her surgery will be on July 16. We don't know what will happen after that for sure but can venture a guess. I understand that the course of treatment is different for everybody but with our prayers, I'm hopeing that it won't even be necessary. Please keep Laura in your prayers. The old saying about how life is what happens when you're making other plans sure does apply. Love you all, Dora Dora, With all your daughter has going on, it isn't surprising that she is facing this. She's going through trying issues in every area of life! Please tell her it's not the end but she MUST take care of herself spiritually, soulically and physically. I believe God created us to be spiritually minded and if we are at peace spiritually, our soul and body will manifest that, too. I will be keeping your daughter, her family and yours in our prayers. Traci |
Peppermint P... |
Quote Blue 501: Nonnie (Dora?), I am very sorry to hear about your daughter's problem. I had a partial mastectomy & radiation last year. From what they told me, they can predict which lumps are cancer by the shape of them (spiculated) but I hope they are wrong about your daughter's lump. Annamarie: I remember you saying that you had it in your lymph nodes but not in your breast. My sentinel node & the other string of them they checked were clear but now I have a big lump in the axillary area. The biopsy did not show any epithelial cells but the lump has tripled in size since the biopsy & there are huge ridges of scar tissue where they did it even tho it was just a needle biopsy. They don't know what it is but suspect scar tissue or infection. They are checking it again July 15 but it is hard not to worry, especially with the lump growing so fast. It definitely was infected. I took 10 days of antibiotics & felt better but the danged thing is still getting bigger. Any advice? Blue....I'm going to pray for healing for you too. |
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Blue 501 |
Thank you, Peppermint Patty. |
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nonnie7 |
annamarie, blue, got2beme(Traci) and Peppermint Patty - Thank you so much for your prayers for Laura and for your concern and advice. Laura did have her biopsy yesterday and the doctor who did it again assured her that it appears to be malignant. Guess they won't allow anybody to get their hopes up too high. Now we await the results. Laura got hold of a couple of friends of hers who know the oncologist with the best reputation and her friends have told her that when they contacted him yesterday and pleaded her case to him in person, he has told them that now he has so many patients that he has 3 waiting rooms and often the wait to see him is hours long. Laura, not willing to accept that, has connected with another oncologist in Pittsburgh which is about 2 hours from where we live. I don't know, now, what the next step will be as I don't know if she will have to start over from scratch but we all know it has to happen without delay. |
kaycountrygal |
nonnie7 (Dora), You poor thing!! From your posts re your daughter I can tell you are very upset and concerned for her and your grandsons. I am so sorry you all have to go through this ordeal. I've had two family members with cancer & it is a disease that affects not just the sick one but all the family. Maybe it will turn out not to be breast cancer. All of you are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself, ok? Let us know what's going on. Kay 3:34pm edt NC |
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kaycountrygal |
blue501, Of course it's hard not to worry. I am so sorry you have to wait & wonder & imagine all sorts of things. I understand you'll be re-checked on July 15. When you know the results, let us know, ok? You're in my prayers. Kay 3:43m edt NC |
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Blue 501 |
Quote kaycountrygal: blue501, Of course it's hard not to worry. I am so sorry you have to wait & wonder & imagine all sorts of things. I understand you'll be re-checked on July 15. When you know the results, let us know, ok? You're in my prayers. Kay 3:43m edt NC Thank you, Kay. |
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Blue 501 |
Quote nonnie7: annamarie, blue, got2beme(Traci) and Peppermint Patty - Thank you so much for your prayers for Laura and for your concern and advice. Laura did have her biopsy yesterday and the doctor who did it again assured her that it appears to be malignant. Guess they won't allow anybody to get their hopes up too high. Now we await the results. Laura got hold of a couple of friends of hers who know the oncologist with the best reputation and her friends have told her that when they contacted him yesterday and pleaded her case to him in person, he has told them that now he has so many patients that he has 3 waiting rooms and often the wait to see him is hours long. Laura, not willing to accept that, has connected with another oncologist in Pittsburgh which is about 2 hours from where we live. I don't know, now, what the next step will be as I don't know if she will have to start over from scratch but we all know it has to happen without delay. Laura's two sons aren't takeing this well at all. The older one, who is 15, is just plain mad at the whole world over this and the younger one, who is 12, it has been his lifelong habit to literally bury his head under a pillow with his bottom up in the air. We all seem to know when Nathan is having a bad day and young Mr. Ostrich has every right to be having a bad day right now. I sure hope they get a grip before long and can come to terms with this awful situation. Again, thank you so very much for your prayers and the your good advice which she has taken. Love you all, Dora Dora, males do seem to have a harder time dealing with it. My husband was so in denial. He did not want me to tell anyone, not even my stepson. He wanted second opinions. He wanted me to will it not to be. And he was dreadfully hard on me after the surgery and during the radiation. And this despite the fact his own mother, who looked very like me, was already in the last stages when her breast cancer was discovered, and died of it. Maybe that is why. In comparison, I am sure I did not seem really ill to him. Most women survive it now and I know your daughter will come through this. She will need all the help she can get though so if you can, help her. Take the boys off her hands. Go with her to appointments. Cook meals. I don't know your age or condition or how close you live, but these things I mentioned would have been such a help for me. My brother did come get Mama and take her for a month & that helped but poor Mama lost weight while I was so ill. She is 93 and practically helpless but refused to leave me until she knew I was going to be okay. If I ever have this to go through again, I am going to hire someone to come in & make meals & do the housework, no matter what it costs. |
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annamarie73 |
Quote Blue 501: Quote nonnie7: annamarie, blue, got2beme(Traci) and Peppermint Patty - Thank you so much for your prayers for Laura and for your concern and advice. Laura did have her biopsy yesterday and the doctor who did it again assured her that it appears to be malignant. Guess they won't allow anybody to get their hopes up too high. Now we await the results. Laura got hold of a couple of friends of hers who know the oncologist with the best reputation and her friends have told her that when they contacted him yesterday and pleaded her case to him in person, he has told them that now he has so many patients that he has 3 waiting rooms and often the wait to see him is hours long. Laura, not willing to accept that, has connected with another oncologist in Pittsburgh which is about 2 hours from where we live. I don't know, now, what the next step will be as I don't know if she will have to start over from scratch but we all know it has to happen without delay. Laura's two sons aren't takeing this well at all. The older one, who is 15, is just plain mad at the whole world over this and the younger one, who is 12, it has been his lifelong habit to literally bury his head under a pillow with his bottom up in the air. We all seem to know when Nathan is having a bad day and young Mr. Ostrich has every right to be having a bad day right now. I sure hope they get a grip before long and can come to terms with this awful situation. Again, thank you so very much for your prayers and the your good advice which she has taken. Love you all, Dora Dora, males do seem to have a harder time dealing with it. My husband was so in denial. He did not want me to tell anyone, not even my stepson. He wanted second opinions. He wanted me to will it not to be. And he was dreadfully hard on me after the surgery and during the radiation. And this despite the fact his own mother, who looked very like me, was already in the last stages when her breast cancer was discovered, and died of it. Maybe that is why. In comparison, I am sure I did not seem really ill to him. Most women survive it now and I know your daughter will come through this. She will need all the help she can get though so if you can, help her. Take the boys off her hands. Go with her to appointments. Cook meals. I don't know your age or condition or how close you live, but these things I mentioned would have been such a help for me. My brother did come get Mama and take her for a month & that helped but poor Mama lost weight while I was so ill. She is 93 and practically helpless but refused to leave me until she knew I was going to be okay. If I ever have this to go through again, I am going to hire someone to come in & make meals & do the housework, no matter what it costs. Blue, So sorry to hear about your hubby's mom and his reactions to you. You didn't say if he eventually came around to help and support you. I hope he did. A support system is greatly needed, emotional as well as cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm so very thankful that my husband was very supportive and as we don't have any immediate family close by, my church family was wonderful as well. Your advice to Dora was right on. And I hope you don't have to go thru it again. 
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Peppermint P... |
Quote Blue 501: Quote nonnie7: annamarie, blue, got2beme(Traci) and Peppermint Patty - Thank you so much for your prayers for Laura and for your concern and advice. Laura did have her biopsy yesterday and the doctor who did it again assured her that it appears to be malignant. Guess they won't allow anybody to get their hopes up too high. Now we await the results. Laura got hold of a couple of friends of hers who know the oncologist with the best reputation and her friends have told her that when they contacted him yesterday and pleaded her case to him in person, he has told them that now he has so many patients that he has 3 waiting rooms and often the wait to see him is hours long. Laura, not willing to accept that, has connected with another oncologist in Pittsburgh which is about 2 hours from where we live. I don't know, now, what the next step will be as I don't know if she will have to start over from scratch but we all know it has to happen without delay. Laura's two sons aren't takeing this well at all. The older one, who is 15, is just plain mad at the whole world over this and the younger one, who is 12, it has been his lifelong habit to literally bury his head under a pillow with his bottom up in the air. We all seem to know when Nathan is having a bad day and young Mr. Ostrich has every right to be having a bad day right now. I sure hope they get a grip before long and can come to terms with this awful situation. Again, thank you so very much for your prayers and the your good advice which she has taken. Love you all, Dora Dora, males do seem to have a harder time dealing with it. My husband was so in denial. He did not want me to tell anyone, not even my stepson. He wanted second opinions. He wanted me to will it not to be. And he was dreadfully hard on me after the surgery and during the radiation. And this despite the fact his own mother, who looked very like me, was already in the last stages when her breast cancer was discovered, and died of it. Maybe that is why. In comparison, I am sure I did not seem really ill to him. Most women survive it now and I know your daughter will come through this. She will need all the help she can get though so if you can, help her. Take the boys off her hands. Go with her to appointments. Cook meals. I don't know your age or condition or how close you live, but these things I mentioned would have been such a help for me. My brother did come get Mama and take her for a month & that helped but poor Mama lost weight while I was so ill. She is 93 and practically helpless but refused to leave me until she knew I was going to be okay. If I ever have this to go through again, I am going to hire someone to come in & make meals & do the housework, no matter what it costs. Blue, my heart goes out to you. Can't imagine what you went through. Men do seem to have a more difficult time dealing with health issues....their own and those they love. You gave very good suggestions for helping others. I guess it takes that experience to know how to help. 
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Blue 501 |
There was one (maybe) humorous side to my breast cancer experience. The surgeon insisted that I should bring a relative or friend to help me listen to all the options so my 27 year old daughter came. She told the doctor "I hope you realize Mama is a drama queen". She told the doctor "Save Mama's ta-tas if you can. Her husband is a boob man". I told the doctor "Now you see why I prefer to come alone. And I don't bring my husband because he would be asking you "How soon can she have sex"? I am going to tell him that it will be a year at least". The surgeon says "I can't support you in that". I said "Well here's his picture. He can be here in spirit. Let's lay it on your desk & that is the closest he is going to get to this situation." |
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Blue 501 |
Oh gosh, i did not mean to turn everyone off the site. I won't post any more details about breast cancer. Sorry,everyone. |
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